Confidence levels fluctuate with all of us. When we’ve nailed a presentation or tackled a difficult work challenge, we feel like we are soaring above the rest.
We’ve all had those less than stellar days when our self-confidence plummets back to Earth. Perhaps it was a business meeting that didn’t go as planned. Maybe you lost a client or suffered a setback with a vendor relationship.
These events are bad enough when it occurred, but often times we relive the experience time and again. This form of ruminating prolongs the feeling of pain, rejection and self-worth — tarnishing your self image in the process.
One of the confidence hacks outline by Happify.com says it’s about regulating the thoughts you allow in your head.
According to the article, Goal Auzeen Saedi, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist who practices in Portland, OR says ìitís important to remember that our thoughts are often a running dialogue of negativity, very little of which is true.
ìItís one thing to notice and identify a thought, and another to believe it. The more we internalize these external events, the more they can bring us down.î
So, what can we do to break the negative thought spiral. Distance from your thoughts.
Reading a book, going for a run, visiting with a friend or even baking can help focus your thoughts on something other then the broken record of past events.
Thought diffusion, or methods to consciously refocus your thoughts such as meditation or breathing techniques, help to silence the hurtful thoughts.
The first step towards changing your mind’s habit of dwelling on the past is to be aware of the negative pattern. When you start ruminating on what occurred and you feel the knot form in your stomach, take a moment to acknowledge that you are in fact ruminating. Then take action to distance yourself from the hurtful thoughts. Then, move forward.
Learn from the past. Don’t live in it.
For more confidence hacks, visit Happify.com.